Because everybody except Mormons loves intoxicated fat people, there's Diesel's Bacon & Beers: a swine-swallowing/suds-sipping good time starting tonight and going down the final Tuesday of every month that promises an always-changing menu of four bacon-tastic eats and four pig-strip-enhanced bevs prepped by rotating guest mixologists, plus plenty of "riff-raff", but no Riff Raff, the shredding heavy metal children's guitarist who stuffs his pants with a Bananaphone. The night'll consist of
Food: Inaugural edibles'll include bacon-wrapped filet mignon skewers, London pork belly & blue cheese-stuffed stone fruit, and Cornish game hen with prosciutto-wrapped white asparagus and bacon stuffing, also what was recently revealed to be in all of Kirstie Alley's teddy bears
Drink: They'll suggest dish-matching brews from ten new taps, including super-dark, 11% ABV Lost Abbey Serpent's Stout and coffee/chocolate-tinged Stone Smoked Porter, in addition to cocktails like the bourbon/ bacon/ maple syrup/ egg white/ orange juice "The Morning After" -- which, if consumed in the morning, will keep your hungover self from being such a pill.
Riff-Raff?: A large bowl of free bacon'll be passed around the crowd every two hours starting at 7p, and everyone in attendance'll vote on the menu item they most liked, with the winning recipe-creator snagging a $100 gift card for Best Buy -- which for Mormons, is a Jimmer Fredette jersey, plus four more Jimmer Fredette jerseys for the wives.