Rex's Outrageous Road Crew Crunch

Jericho, VT's answer to mildly emasculating trailmix, these construction-themed snack mixes include six sweet/salty styles like Asphalt (dark chocolate), Gravel (white chocolate), Sand (peanut butter), Mud (milk chocolate), and two orange-infused varieties named "Caution: Road Block Ahead" and "Hazard: Hands-Off" -- though consume enough of this caloric goodness, and that won't be a phrase you'll actually ever need to use.