Food & Drink

Frozen treats, roaming the streets

Benjamin Franklin famously said that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. But less famously, he also remarked that ice cream sandwiches are proof that God also kind of hates us and wants us to be just fat enough that we're embarrassed to go in the lake without a shirt on. Now heeding the wishes of our vengeful, vengeful Lord: Chi-Scream sandwich cart.

From a dude who used to chef at Green Zebra, among other places not named after inaccurately colored animals, Chi-Scream is just a tiny little push cart wheeling its way into your heart, then stopping in front of your arteries with its homemade, eclectically awesome combos. A sampling:

Available now: Opt for the vanilla shortbread with strawberry jam ice cream, or a triple chocolate cookie sandwiching banana peanut butter, or even molasses with double vanilla, also what the Boston co-ed softball league scorekeeper writes down when Mitt Romney gets a two-bagger.

Coming Soon: Unlike the Cubs, his rotation doesn't suck, so expect to see Rated Rookies like a soft vanilla wafer stuffed with banana pudding ice cream, a chocolate-dipped almond number w/ coconut, and butterscotch scream with a blondie bar, which -- according to Mr. 1992 joking lore -- is much stupider to eat than the brunette version.

Coming Later: In the Fall/the holidays, he's also planning to do seasonal items like a pumpkin cookie stuffed with egg nog, though how you're going to wait all the way 'til the Fall to eat that, Lord only knows.