Food & Drink

Eat, drink, and be heavy

From an ATX-based resto vet and his dad (who happens to be CEO of Johnny Carino's parent company), Stateside Pie & Beer is only exactly what it sounds like after you've heard that the fearlessly, fatteningly inventive tavern was inspired by "listening to a WWII veteran share stories of his never-ending desire to return Stateside while serving overseas"

As troops smile down at you from Greatest Generation wallpaper, you'll decide between thin crusters like the Louisiana -- w/ blackened shrimp, Andouille sausage, two hot sauces (house & LA), a mozz/ cheddar/ provolone sharp blend, and hot cherry peppers -- or a thick one, such as the heartland heart-stopper Iowa (ham, bacon, bleu, roasted sweet corn) or the Texas: brisket, chipotle BBQ sauce, sharp blend, marinated onion & jalapeno. If pie goes straight to your thighs, get just as large in a less rhyming way, with an Andouille dog hoagie, an in-the-bag Frito pie, or a dessert so wrong, some Wonka kid must've been punished for requesting it: funnel cake batter-dipped, bacon-wrapped fried Snickers dusted with powdered sugar and topped with Cool Whip

Since alcohol can thin your cholesterol-toting blood, grab cocktails like the Pig on the Porch (bacon-infused bourbon & spiced ginger ale) and a frozen Jack Daniels number, or head yeast with 40-plus brews stretching from a "private stock" quartet, to Lakewood & DEBC, to Rogue Dead Guy & Flying Dog Doggie Style -- one beer that truly tells a story of never-ending desire.