Mmm, pork

Do you often find yourself eating pigs in a blanket and thinking how much better they are than regular hotdogs? Then, 1) congrats, you seem to have no shortage of middle-class to upper-middle-class friends getting married, and 2) you should spend some between-wedding time at The Hawt

Baking their full-size sausages n' dogs in 3oz of fresh City Bakery dough (post-grilling), this 24-seat casa de cased meat has four TVs, an open kitchen, and a strange resemblance to the diner from Edward Hopper's Nighthawks, right down to the dudes inside wearing fedoras (...probably. It's in Cherry Creek). The meat ranges from Hebrew Nationals, to more exotic stuff (sourced from locals Continental Sausage and Tonali's) employed in 10 signatures including

The Santa Fe: A smoked buffalo cheddar & jalapeno brat gets loaded with chipotle beef chile, pepper jack, and pickled jalapenos. Top that! ...not literally though, there's already a lot of good stuff on there

The Breck: An Avalanche Ale pork brat gets snowed-over with sauteed 'shrooms, caramelized peppers & onions, jalapeno cream cheese, and horseradish mustard

The Big O-maha: Who likes a little a sexual innuendo with their phallic mouthfuls? People who order this Santa Fe turkey sausage smothered in shaved pastrami, sauerkraut, Swiss, and Thousand Island

And because man cannot survive on sausage alone, they've also got extras like Tater Tawts/ Hawt Chips, and milkshakes with blended-in marshmallows, graham crackers, and Red Hots, which are tough to find these days, what with most of them already being married off.