Light shows. Rollerblading waitresses. A revolving restaurant. <em>For starters</em>.

Published on 9/3/2012 at 2:00 AM

Up to now, the UK's few drive-thrus have taken the wussy way out by directing cars to drive around the building. Now, thanks to "food architects" B&P (who brought you the Artisanal Chewing Gum Factory, not to mention a punchbowl you can row a boat in), for three days across a mid-September weekend the ground floor of the old Selfridges Hotel will be transformed into a resto you can literally drive through. The setup actually will include a revolving restaurant for pedestrians, but assuming you're smart enough to roll up in your Reliant Robin, or even Smart Car, here's what to expect:

As you arrive outside, you'll be handed a soundtrack specially composed for the journey, as well as a perfume dispenser to hang from your rearview, designed to resemble a "giant salami".
You'll be directed to park in a darkened box, where you'll be hit by a "wall of sound and light", before being nudged towards an exit and served by a team of rollerblading waitresses called "The Baconators", who sadly won't be streaky.
You'll then pick from a top-secret menu that mimics "all the physical and psychological dimensions of the motor car" (so expect to get some gas).
Finally you'll drive forward through a 40m stretch of polished marble towards your awaiting food, while being awed by a light-responsive installation triggered in stages, and set off by "the continual movement of the car", so Rover drivers can expect faltering light-response.
The whole thing will take around three minutes, after which your blown mind can turn to your food, while being careful not to drive through those pedestrians.