Meat Week

Many modern holidays were invented for nefarious reasons, like to sell greeting cards, or to force people to (shudder) talk to their mothers. Introducing a holiday that comes straight from the congested heart: Meat Week, running 1/30-2/6.

Kicked off in '05 by a pair of carnivorous Floridians as "the holiday time forgot", Meat Week's goal's to gather together as many like-stomached locals as possible for a full seven days of BBQ-style gorging; so far it's celebrated in 15 American cities, with London being the first international, an endeavor headed by two "Meat Captains", one an LA illustrator, the other a London visual effects artist who worked on the Twilight saga creating wolves, whose solitary tendencies are likely shared by any man whose spent the tenner to see his work.

Londoners are asked to attend as many of the proteinaceous gatherings as they can, as the tour swings through spots like the Soho/Clapham Bodeans, The Big Easy, Wansdworth's fully pitted The Ship, relative newcomer Cattle Grid, and Trafalgar Square stalwart The Texas Embassy, which also served as the American Embassy from 2000-2008.

To finish up the feast-ivities, they're throwing a BYOBBQ blowout at "someone's flat with access to the Super Bowl", with yet-to-be-revealed awards along the lines of previous years' "best meatography", and "walked the farthest to enjoy meat", which presumably means that, once again, you'll also be walking home after a shameful porking

For further proof that unrestrained non-vegetarianism can inspire a well-rounded lifestyle, check out the Meat Week website, where you'll find newcomer tips, loads of pics from past events, even videos like the slightly horrifying "Get Your Mug on the Meat", involving a not-particularly thin man performing unspeakable acts as he walks amongst a giant pile of ribs -- someone only a mother could love, assuming she got her card.