So much goes on at City Hall, from deciding public policy, to Mayor Royce sitting in his office waiting to get driven to an appearance, so you should probably just go in and see if he's...OH MY GOD!! Nice junk dude, how 'bout a promotion? For one whose policy is setting you up with delicious food, get to City Hall The Restaurant, finally opening next Wednesday. The brainchild of Steven Haas (who tapped former Emeril chef Tom Azar), sprawling, two-floor City Hall hopes to draw in locals and patrons of the stone's-throw Adrienne Arsht Center and AAA with its 1930s NY-iron chandeliers and burgundy leather walls, a mural with biplanes and scale-holding women, and a huge stained-glass piece with the Chrysler Building and Radio City, also the BET followup to Rap City on which a mentally challenged Cuba Gooding, Jr. replaced J-Nicks, and was actually much better. The no-joke menu kicks off with Guinness-braised Mediterranean mussels w/ homemade chorizo, plus thick-cut applewood bacon w/ shaved truffles, then gets into mains like the houseblend meatloaf w/ chorizo-maple mac 'n cheese, Karubi pork ribs, and a Maine lobster/ shrimp/ scallop pot pie stuffed with parsnip mashed potatoes, seafood veloute, sweet corn, and English peas -- which, over there at least, actually help you drop a few pounds. They've also got pizzas including one outfitted w/ confit duck, mushrooms, and port wine-truffle béchamel, plus sides like creamed spinach, shiitake Jasmine rice, and sweet potatoes that're "bourbon whipped", and'll get a Bulleit put in them if they're seen out on the town with that slutty St. Pauli Girl.
City's massive downstairs bar'll be stocking 68 wines (12 by the glass), a dozen or so beers, and house cocktails like the Campari/ OJ/ Midori/ Champagne "Key to the City", which you basically get if you see the Mayor being pleasured, despite the fact that you're dumb, bald, and lost that department surveillance camera when you put it in a tennis ball that one time.