Food & Drink

Fancified food smack in South Beach

Because there can never be enough super-swanky restaurants for Kanye to flip out at, here comes Tosca, a very sexy eatery from Stephan Fortier (Maison d'Azur) complete with a glassed-in food museum displaying rare imported foodstuffs like 100yr-old bottles of balsamic

If Rick Blaine and the Godfather were 1) not dead, and 2) not fictitious, they would very much enjoy the Italian Riviera-esque space with a tree-lined brick walkway that leads to a secluded, candlelit garden dining area with vintage telescopes, a fountain terrace, and a hidden two-person movie theater screening the very movies the people at the beginning of this sentence starred in. The equally over the top menu includes truckers who just want to connect with their estranged sons tiered seafood towers (w/ Alaskan crab legs, oysters & Maine lobster tails), Russian caviar, a Kobe ribeye, mango/avocado-covered scallops, and mascarpone fettuccine mixed up tableside in a giant wheel of parmesan

There's also a huge iced-filled bin full of daily-imported Mediterranean swimmers like turbot, wild branzino, and dorade that you can get cooked to your specs, which are not to be confused with the non-prescription kind Kanye wears, which look oddly similar to the non-prescription glasses Reggie Bush wears... oh no, he's coming over here!!