Cook these faster than Kris Kluwe can tweet about D & D

Because Jared Allen can only strangle then delicately prepare so many ferocious wildebeests for your Super Bowl bash, we asked three top Twin Cities chefs to hook up recipes for delicious, simple party foods less likely to gore you.

Bacon-Wrapped Wienies in a Buffalo FritterChef Junji, Zen Box Izakaya These bacon-wrapped cocktail doggies are fried to crispy perfection after being dipped in a MacGyvered concoction of buffalo sauce and pancake batter, which tastes great despite sounding sort of crepe-y.

It's easy as clicking right here (plus, you know, doing several other things this recipe tells you)

Get Furious Fiesta Cheese FondueChef Mike, The Melting Pot Cast fancy fondue pots aside as you try this fondue, uh, molten cheese dish, which can be made with your normal pots and pans, and employs serious amounts of Surly.

More like fon-don't! Get the secret here.

Stick A Fork In Romo LomoChef Royal Dahlstrom, Enjoy both delicious ham and somewhat random call-outs of the NFL's worst placekick holder? Then whip out some fancy meat-stuffs, then serve 'em toothpick-style with a you-fried batch of tasty garnishes.

Sooo much lomo awaits you, here