Soho's go-to kosher clubhouse

Happier to put lipstick on a pig than serve it, Jezebel's a two-floor townhouse temple to keeping kosher that's tarted up with red carpets, dark woods, family heirlooms, and quirky art that transposes Jewish cultural icons onto famous portraits, e.g., Amy Winehouse as Mona Lisa, and Mayor Bloomberg as George Washington, a pair who certainly wouldn't see eye-to-eye on term limits... or anything else, because Washington was, like, 6'2"

With a James Beard-winning Miss Lily's alum behind the shockingly decadent menu, starters include lamb neck agnolotti, roasted bone marrow w/ parsley, pickled onion & toasted breadcrumbs, and a newfangled Jewish Wedding Soup that comes with matzoh balls, chicken meatballs, and questions about when you're going to start having kids. Once those're polished off, go with the Chicken "Chop" Milanese (stuffed w/ fennel, onions & raisins), a two-person cote de boeuf, or a lamb burger w/ smoked tomato mayo and twice-baked Yukons, which're just trying to outdo the neighboring baked Alaska

There are even inventive cocktails on hand, from the Lansky's Rum (whiskey, grapefruit juice, lime zest, lemon bitters), to the vodka/triple sec/lavender syrup/black grapes/secret spices Kosha Nostra, a group that might throw you out of a window and leave you to be eaten by dogs if they knew all these drinks were making you act like such a whore.