Along with being the ultimate action star in 172 flicks, John Wayne's manliness is compounded by legends of 5lbs of undigested red meat found in his gut when he went to that big, casually racist dude ranch in the sky. Now you can follow in the Duke's bootprints by turning your intestines into a meat-packing plant via Skyline Burgers' Quadzilla Challenge on the joint's brand-new, Jimmy Buffett-style tropical patio (it's awesome; check it out here). What you're in for: 32 ounces of medium-rare beef split into four patties, then piled high between just two buns -- the equivalent of ~16 McDonald's burgers... but with so many fewer buns! No carbs! Ally McBeal approves!! 25 dollars you'll be reimbursed if you finish the burger, fries, and a large soda. 16 ounces of French fries you'll need to down, unless you surrender, just like their namesake. 4 (each) fried onion rings, strips of thick-cut bacon, and slices of cheddar and Swiss. 3-4 estimated days your body takes to digest a regular hamburger. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have read that one. 1 framed photo of your heroic face that'll forever be on Skyline's wall if you show your true grit by finishing, though you'll probably look more like Big Jake than Rooster Cogburn by the time you're done.
Tuna Eyeball with Timothy DeLaGhetto and Ben Sinclair