Famous for hosting Jack Nicholson when his stories were really dull and repetitive, Timberline Lodge's now prepared to use slicing devices on forest animals instead of just doors near Shelley Duvall as it plays host to Nicky USA's Wild About Game festival. Expect artisan meat-makers plating boar, rabbit, elk, Bambi, ducks, geese, and other cooked critters, plus a PDX v. Seattle chef cook-off and enough alcohol to ensure no work and all play. What you're in for
The Throwdown: Seattle and Portland're in constant competition over soccer and who has the tightest pants, but this Chopped-style contest names a mystery meat on site to be used by chefs from Gilt, Departure, Lincoln, and Gruner as they square off against their Seattle nemeses whose names don't even matter since they will definitely lose because Seattle sucks. Suck it Seattle
The Meat: After nabbing some samples of the Throwdown food, graze through an artisan market featuring meats like Anderson Ranch lamb, Hudson Valley foie, Chop charcuterie, boar from Tails & Trotters, Iberian ham from Fermin, and quail from Manchester Farms, which will ensure your stomach is United with some delicious mid-sized bird
The Drinks: You can expect Burnside and Double Mountain beer; wines by Erath, Fausse Piste, and Penner Ash; and booze from Jim Beam, Maker's, and House Spirits, which should provide some non-red rum this time around.