Pizza on a mission from god
We've got blues in our bars, green relish on our Vienna Beef, and bears in Vaseline Alley, but one Chicago export that's always eluded Portland is pizza -- until now, thanks to the opening of Bridge City
Run by thickly, hilariously accented Chitown expats, the tiny Woodstock counter/delivery spot tosses lesser-known Chicago thin crust pies with a crunchy/chewy base that houses Superfans-worthy amounts of toppings. To wit: the pineappley Willie the Wimp & His Cadillac Hawaiian; the Chicago Fire with bacon, jalapeno & pork sausage; and the Big Hurt w/ ham, pepperoni, peppers, portobellos, and more walks than strikeouts, assuming it's 1994. If you don't want pizza, you're an idiot -- an idiot who can load up on sandwiches (!), including classic Italian beef, meatball marinara, and the kingly Froman, which is stuffed with so much sausage, you won't even need an elaborate phone hoax to get a seat at a fancy restaurant afterwards. Although it is very fun to do
More really healthy food includes garlicky breadsticks named after Elwood Blues, housemade mozz sticks, and, most amazingly, Coach K Fried Mashed Potato Balls, starchy spheres of genius so addictive, people will see your Chi-food-addled form and be like "Gross, man!"