Trade in your signature Super Bowl five-layer vegan bean dip for one of these SF chef snacks awesome enough that even your friends Wilfork 'em

Even though the Niners didn’t make it to the Super Bowl, chances are you’re still going to watch it... on your DVR... after the Puppy Bowl, so why not do it with three professionally designed, idiot-proof munchies? To wit:

Beer Braised Pork Sliders From Justin Simoneaux, Boxing Room Sip your way through this recipe, which specifically sets aside two beers “for the chef” and four for dousing 3lbs of pork butt, guaranteed to turn out so juicy you’ll swear that -- like John Daly's front nine -- it’s pre-sauced. Find out how to pour beer all over pork right here

Fried Chicken Bacon Nuggets From Huw Thornton, Bacon Bacon Truck This stomach-pleasuring creation combines everything you love about nuggets (they're crispy, tasty, and definitely probably chicken) with everything you love about bacon (bacon) for the ultimate Google-imaging-Vince-Wilfork's-wife-during-timeouts snack.

Seriously, how could you not want this recipe?

Pickled Sausages From Carlo Espinas, Comstock Saloon Make cocktail franks actually edible by following these extremely simple steps (boil + chop + jar) to jalapeno-brine two packages of Lit'l Smokies, which you can then use to prevent lit'l forest fires. Your meat pickle step-by-step awaits