The weirdest meat you've ever put in your mouth

Because you prefer your mother f**king snakes on your mother f**king plate, head to Mokutanya, a Japanese grillery in Burlingame now happy to serve you just about the craziest meats you could ever hope to take down, after you remove your shoes (!), put them in your very own cement cubby (!!), and sit on bright red floor cushions.

Prepare your large intestine for:

Python: Maybe the scariest thing you've seen on a plate since Albert Belle touched home, try a skewer of this 20ft-long, 200lb snake, which has the texture of chicken, tastes more like a gamey light fish, and sings hypnotically whenever loincloth'd jungle boys're around.

Kangaroo: Because you've always wanted Australian game (g'day, sheila!), this grilled 'roo boasts an extremely lean texture and the "flavor of pork", which just so happens to be the name for Flav's new late-night Cinemax-airing Love spinoff.

Wild Boar: Timon is gonna be so sad you ate his life partner, but Hakuna Matata that ish, because -- while a little tough -- this staked piece of Pumba tastes like what all pork was meant to: bacon.

Though they recently sold out of lion (yes, lion), Mokutanya’s constantly looking for new exotic stuff to cook and insects might be the next round, even if they're not really on the same plane as snakes.