Holy. Crap.

If bacon wasn't the greatest thing on earth, then Kyra Sedgwick wouldn't be happily married to him for the last twenty thre-- wait a sec. Who in the hell is "Special Agent Fritz Howard", Kyra?! What about your family!?! For a new food cart slinging nothing but what's apparently Sedgwick's second favorite meat, the Bacon Bacon Truck, rolling out for the first time today.From a Cole Valley dude who originally moved to SF to manage his brother's rock band, the BBT is a 1986 Chevy lifted from a retired Hayward burger-maker, now serving up SF's first fully pork-ified menu, which includes just one sans-pork menu item, though if you order it, you immediately fall through a trap door into a pool of lame. The list of fatty swine-topped eatables was developed with help from a chef buddy (Olives in Boston, Rubicon and One Market in SF), and sports six sandwiches on Nash Baker bread, including three classics like a grilled cheese smothered in tomato and bacon jam, also a Looney Tunes film in which Louie Anderson plays the Michael Jordan character, and just ends up eating Porky Pig and most of the Monstars. The other trio's an exercise in porky miscellany -- there's the Banh Mi (two 3.5oz pork meatballs, pickled veggies, bacon, cilantro), the Almost Veggie (broccoli rabe, roasted red pepper, melted provolone, Sriracha aioli, bacon), and a griddled pork belly/farm-fresh fried egg/arugula/caper aioli mouthful dubbed "The Belly", which Jonah Hill fans can sadly no longer enjoy.There's also on-the-side eats like Parmesan fries for bacon deniers, spicy belly fries (topped w/ pork belly trimmings), and the bacon bouquet (a bunch of bacon bundled like flowers), plus draft root beer and dessert treats like chocolate-covered bacon, which is what Kevin sexily tried on Valentine's Day when he realized his wife was much Closer with the oil company CEO from Free Willy 2.