Food & Drink

A food truck for the ages

Launching Monday in Fremont, Grillstars is a refurbished taco slinger that tows a 22ft double smoker and sports a Cheesecake Factory-expansive menu that its owners -- two East Bay dudes who've run everything from BBQ joints to military kitchens -- tidily characterize as New American-Traditional American-Barbecue-Burgers-Cajun-Creole-Food Stands-Hot Dogs-Sandwiches-Southern food, with a whopping 43 menu items and 22 burger extras, which may sound like a lot, until you realize how taxing filming Carrie Bradshaw's Season 5 boyfriend truly is. Save yourself some time with this handy breakdown of menu items:

That Could Incapacitate Willie Brown:1. The Double Double Cheeseburger - Using a specialty butcher in San Lorenzo, this monstrosity features combo'd meat patties made with veal fat, pork, and New York steak. 2. Sweet Potato Fries - These handcut gems may sound innocent enough, that is, until you realize they're served with marshmallow sauce.

That Could Sate an Adult Panda With Power to Both Fields:1. Pit Blend Sandwich - This sando is loaded with chicken, 10hr-smoked pork, mayo, and house BBQ sauce, which Omar Epps discovers is loaded with booze in Season 4. 2. Chicken Fried BLT - A heart surgeon's dream, this sucker's got applewood-smoked bacon dipped in a "chicken fry batter".

That Could Make Kirstie Alley Say "No Mas" (Just Kidding, Of Course...Kirstie Alley Doesn't Know Spanish):1. Hillbilly Deluxe Dog - A jumbo frankfurter is coated/fried in a honey beer batter, then smothered with bacon, tomatoes, onions, and special sauce. Try it with the Chicken Fried BLT! 2. One and Only Burger - This creation tops a peppercorn patty with deep-fried pickles, crispy bacon, melted cheese, and that house BBQ sauce Omar Epps mentioned earlier.

That Could Make Cookie Monster Eat Significantly Less Cookies:1. Pizza Puffs - This pizza dough-based creation is tossed in the fryer until it puffs to the size of a sando, and's topped w/ sugar, strawberries, chocolate, caramel, and whipped cream. 2. Deep Fried Desserts - Going above and beyond the traditional deep-fatting candidates (Twinkies, Snickers bars), their dessert spread includes fried Mars bars and funnel cake, which is nearly impossible to chug.