Getting in on the ground floor lets you say fun stuff like "I was listening to Arcade Fire in '03", and "Man, I was all over that when it was called Middle School Musical". Get a jump on the hybrid sport bandwagon this weekend, at the Hardcourt Bicycle Polo World Championships.
The first ever World Championships and the largest bike polo tournament in the not-at-all-meticulously documented short history of the hardcourt game -- which is more hockey-on-bikes than polo-without-horses -- is taking over three outdoor roller hockey rinks in Port Richmond, complete w/ lights & scoreboards, which currently show "Sport You've Never Heard Of: 1, You: Zero". Maneuvering fixed-gear or low-geared freewheel bikes with pinpoint dexterity at breakneck speeds around a customized court/rink, three-man teams use homemade mallets built mostly from ski poles and polyurethane to rocket a roller hockey ball into their opponents' "goal", remaining balanced (any foot touching the ground is a foul) and focused while enduring body checks & defensive mallet swordplay through matches lasting seven to ten minutes -- about how long you usually play with your sword, too. 48 teams, from Germany (Candy Colored Clowns), to London (Malice International), to right here in Philly (Trophy Wives), will wage battle in a bracket-format tourney, with Sat's round robin play determining the seeding of Sunday's double-elimination rounds, which'll ultimately crown the sport's first world champs, who'll be rewarded with sweet swag, a classy trophy crafted from automotive parts topped with a handblown glass bowl, and bitter disappointment upon realizing it's not that kind of handblown glass bowl.
Sat night's a celebratory keg throwdown at 2424's Skybox, where $5 gets you unlimited beer from Philadelphia Brewing Company plus catered eats, while Green Rock Tavern (within three blocks of courts) will act as the tourney's de facto beer garden, even debuting their localized version of the City-Wide Special: Kenzinger draft & a shot of whiskey for $3, the perfect way to get in on the ground floor for spending the night on the floor.