Introduction: With a galaxy of unsubstantiated wang-related products out there, there exists the possibility that at least one might work. We decided to test a powder-shake mix that claims to naturally enhance the taste of You: Semenex.
Materials: 7.9oz tub of Semenex. Three males to ingest Semenex. Three intrepid females willing to face a Damocles Sword of Taste Uncertainty.
Hypothesis: We believe that Semenex's claims of taste-enhancement will be borne out, because if they aren't, guys everywhere won't be able to lay back, relax, and enjoy more whob-jobs. Plus it says so on the bottle.
Procedure: Each of three male participants were issued one tub of Semenex. Prior to ingestion, a control test was administered. Then, each man ingested 2tbsp of product, mixed with 6oz of water, twice daily for three days. Per Semenex instructions, men were told to refrain from "busting" for this period. Men complained. After three days, men were aroused to the point of completion by their lab partner. Detailed notes on flavoring were recorded.
Findings: (Direct quotes from female taste-testers)
Reviewer #1: "It went from yum to delish."
Reviewer #2: "Wow, there was no more salt sprinkled on my tongue taste or Clorox-y taste or even the odd asparagus taste. I loved it!"
Reviewer #3: "It wasn't exactly a chocolatini or anything, but I didn't notice any taste at all, and if I hadn't been so involved in the extraction process and he had just snuck up behind me and put it in my milk, I probably wouldn't have noticed anything different. I'm not greedy, I think that's the best a girl can hope for."
Conclusion: Each female participant reported an increase in palatability, leading us to conclude that the product works. Subsequently, if you love your girlfriend enough to adhere to a regimen of a substance described as tasting like everything from "powdered french toast" to "broccoli-chalk", she might actually say hello to the Pope on occasions other than your birthday every once in a while.