They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, which makes it all the more depressing that yours is a cold bowl of Cheerios whose shape cruelly hints at the hollowness of your soul. For a fatter morning ritual, grab Bacon Freak's Bacon Maple Pancake Mix, just available today.
Suggested by a longtime Freak customer, BMPM packs in all the carbs, meat, grease, and sugar necessary for highly productive days, and dramatically fewer of them. The mix: nuggets of Boss Hog Hickory Smoked Bacon and dime-sized chunks of Canadian maple syrup spiked into buttermilk batter from Williamson Kenwood, a small company started by a mother of two nicknamed "The Pancake Lady" for her excellent silver dollars, which had better refer to her kitchen skills. Though smoked meat makes up 25% of each bag, USDA-approved shelf life's a full six months; Freak swears it'll keep for a year, at which point you should also figure out that the condo they sold you...wasn't even theirs to sell!
If nuggets aren't enough, Freak, whose motto is "Bacon is Meat Candy", also sells flavored bacon by the pound, everything from Cajun-spiced to honey BBQ, even bacon prepared in the style of the 2nd most important meal of the day -- jerky.