- The first rule of Mustache Bet is that there is no Mustache Bet. The loser may not tell interested/shocked parties that he lost a wager. He must instead allow them to believe that he thinks his mustache is fashionable and/or "cool".
- Second, all non-mustache facial hair must be removed daily, so that the luxuriant lip-fur will retain the prominence it deserves.
- Lastly, the mustache may not be shorn early for any reason. Whether it's a job interview, first date, or felony arraignment, the Magnum remains.
Beyond the basics, Mustache Bet is a many-splendored thing. Variations include "Mustache Home for the Holidays", "Mustache Funeral", and the dizzyingly high stakes "Mustache Wedding". Should someone welsh on Mustache Bet, they're dead to you, and must be erased from your phone immediately. Of course, the loser can always go double-or-nothing. But if he comes up short again, he must attempt the sweetest plum of all: The Reverse Mustache.