The TSA is never fun when you're in line, but online, it's pure joy. Their Instagram contains photos of the outrageous items caught at airport security from around the country, and December's collection was superb as always. Let's check out the highlight reel.
10. Giant Scissors In A Flock Of Knives
You can't run with them. And you can't fly with them. Also, they look big enough to be operated by two people.
9. A Casual Machete
The accidental carry-ons are always funnier than the attempts at concealment. How must these conversations go? "Oh, I uh...yeah...well...haha...slipped my mind...you got me there!"
8. A Knife Taped To The Inside Of A Suitcase Handle It may cost $25 to check a bag full of knives, but if you try to conceal a knife in a carry-on bag, you can get fined or arrested. Don't worry if you just forget they'll trash that beautiful Gerber.
7. Semi-Automatic Pistol In A Beautiful Leather Holster
This loaded pistol set off all the buzzers in the Seattle-Tacoma Airport. Wonder if its former owner was allowed to keep the holster?
6. A .22 Pistol With Plenty Of Ammo Always reassuring to know that not only do people walk around with guns, but they walk around with them enough to forget they have them when they go to the airport.
5. A Disassembled And Concealed .22 Pistol
This one was taken apart and placed inside a Playstation. The TSA said that 2,106 guns have been found this year, a 16-percent increase from 2013. And, that you get fines up to $11,000 for bringing it to the checkpoint, plus potential criminal charges.
4. A 60mm Mortar
They found it in a checked bag. Who knows what would have happened if it had gotten to the baggage handlers? Fortunately it was inert.
3. Taurus "The Judge" .45 And .410 Revolver Shotgun
When you need something smaller than a sawed-off shotgun, you can use a revolver that shoots shotshells—they're very useful for killing poisonous snakes, apparently.
2. Another Snakes On A Plane Gun
Evidently there is a lot of snake transport going on that I think the public has a right to know about.
1. A Smoke Grenade And Two Bullets This looks like an assassination assortment. The smoke grenade, that's the perfect distraction. And if the side of the casings were visible, I'd bet someone's name is engraved on the side. Clearly there's some vendetta going on here, no one just carries two bullets without a symbolic meaning. Perhaps they're silver?
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor of Supercompressor. He is never flying again. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.