Yes, you may hate dealing with the TSA, but it's always a good idea to check its Instagram and remind yourself what it keeps off our planes and how it allows our skies to remain friendly. Below, the top 10 items it caught in November.
10. Seven Snakes and Three Turtles
They were found in his pants. Cue the trouser snake jokes, plus any Samuel L. Jackson references.
9. 92 Pounds of Weed
And I quote, "As we’ve said before, we’re not looking for illegal narcotics, but we have to report them to law enforcement when discovered. With that said, it’s pretty hard to not come across 92 pounds of marijuana as our checked baggage screening officers did in Phoenix."
8. Empty 84-millimeter Anti-Tank Weapon
The TSA has the best #TBTs in the biz. There's also something truly amazing about the monotone "Anti-tank weapons, expended or live, are prohibited from being transported in carry-on and checked bags" it says on everything. TSA would pull a McKayla Moroney on a nuclear bomb. Not impressed.
7. An Inert Warhead
"Real or not, they are prohibited from both carry-on and checked baggage." Love how it specifies both. We'd love to know the backstories behind this stuff.
6. Another Sword Cane
This continues to be a huge problem for old men who buy a beautiful cane from antique shop, only to discover it has a sword enclosed when they go through security.
5. H&K USP And Three Magazines
This isn't very funny. It was reported that 79 percent of the nearly 2,000 firearms seized in October were loaded. This hasn't changed in November. If you forget you have a gun on you, you are clearly not responsible enough to own one.
4. 12 Terrifying Knives
We get maybe, like, one. Heck, we even understand three. But 12? Unless it was a beautiful Henckles or Wusthof kitchen set, there is no good reason to ever have 12 knives with you at one time. Unless perhaps your job involves "wetwork." (Not this kind.)
3. Bang Stick
These little things are supposedly for protection from animals, but the fact that people walk around with pen-sized guns is nightmare-inducing.
2. An IED Training Kit
1. Casual C4 In a Tobacco Tin
That would have made for a very strong cigarette.
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor of Supercompressor. He is never flying again. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.