All 50 US State Quarters, Ranked

By now, you may recognize that we have a certain love of arbitrary rankings at Supercompressor. There was this, then this, and earlier this week, this. It's just...fun, what can we say? AND IT'S IMPORTANT, TOO, DAMNIT.

So in keeping with what's becoming our favorite activity, we continue this week with another unquestionably accurate ranking. This time, all 50 State Quarters.

Amid the aughts' headline news items—the rise of Internet culture, War on Terror, housing meltdown, and Mel Gibson's voicemail messages—was the most collected coin series of all time: the United States Quarters. Introduced in 1999, every quarter had a 10-week production run in the order of each state's founding, after which the coin was forever retired, thereby fueling the collecting frenzy. In fact, it's estimated that around half of the US population participated in some coin-collecting.

Now, we throw it in reverse and put them all in a new order. Here're all 50 State Quarters, worst to best.

50. Texas

We're guessing Texas asked for the coin to be twice the size 'CUZ E'RYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS! Smartly, the US Government told them to go away. This was so phoned in.

49. Pennsylvania

No Liberty Bell? No Rust Belt reference? Goodness gracious. 

48. Maryland

Oh, Maryland. It must be hard having a state legislature that's so clueless. There has to be something that makes you unique and wonderful and worthy of not being combined with Delaware. Someday, we'll find it.

47. Massachusetts

So much history and tradition and this is the best they do? We can expect this from Maryland, but not you, Massachusetts. The British are coming! They're coming to confiscate your goddamn coins!

46. New York

There are too many quarters with floating icons in front of an outline of the state; it's becoming a problem. No one who lives in New York ever visits Lady Liberty either. 

45. Georgia

A single peach really was not enough. Give us more, GA. We know you have it in you. 

44. Hawaii

We'd have preferred some surfing reference, or at least Robin Masters' Ferrari. It's like Hawaii thinks, "Well, we're like 19 time zones away from everyone else, so nothing really matters." WRONG. It matters, Hawaii. It matters a whole hell of a lot. 

43. Wyoming

Whoever posed for this portrait on the bucking stallion must have paid off the Mint to get on the quarter. Surely they could do better. A cowboy going off into the sunset, perhaps? Any scene from Unforgiven?

42. Idaho

*Exhales slowly*

Why do you want to make our jobs so hard, Idaho? Wait, what? Idaho? YOU DA HO.  

41. Oklahoma

Oklahoma, don't you know like 30 other states have a state bird and flower? C'mon. 

40. Michigan

Motown? Detroit? Eminem? Just a map. Okay. Enjoy the bottom 10. 

39. South Carolina

We'd have preferred a tall glass of extremely sweet iced tea instead. Or a seersucker suit. Or Francis Underwood in a seersucker suit.

38. New Jersey

Good effort Jersey, despite snubbing The Boss. And let's be clear: the etching appears to be done by someone who had been drinking. All day. 

37. Kansas

This bison looks lost, and I suppose we're to assume the generic flowers are some sort of state symbol. But Kansas, we talked about this: buffalo do not represent your state whatsoever. We've been there. It's just a bunch of Jayhawks gear and mile markers for Colorado. 

36. Illinois

It looks like Honest Abe is stepping out of the state like Marilyn Monroe out of a cake. Also, Sears is probably kicking themselves for losing the tower name.

35. Wisconsin

If that creepy, smiling cow was allowed to be on the quarter's reverse all by its lonesome, we'd have given it top marks. But with the corn (maize?) and cheese, it seems like they just tossed on some icons. Which would have been fine if Milwaukee's Best were to have been included.

34. Montana

Skulls are creepy, and skulls hanging in the sky are even creepier.

33. West Virginia

This is a very insider-y quarter. What's the deal with this bridge? Is it like the Tallahatchie Bridge? Is there a secret John Denver song we don't know? Is the bridge coal? So many questions, so few answers. 

32. New Hampshire

The Old Man of the Mountain died. Are we to assume he no longer was living free? Perhaps they should have zoomed out a bit; there's more to Mount Washington.

31. Delaware

Apparently that's Caesar Rodney on horseback? Who the hell is that? Even after looking it up, we don't really know. A drunk frat bro at Dewey Beach woulda been better. 

30. Louisiana

A land sale done in the days of heavy Colonialism isn't nearly as great as that trumpet. Make it bigger! Or make it a trombone? Do something better!

29. Mississippi

At least they didn't put a Confederate flag on this one. Baby steps. 

28. Indiana

We love Indy cars, but it would have been nice to see one on a racetrack instead of a view from space as it apparently takes off toward the moon.

27. Ohio

When you highlight a birthplace, you are also highlighting the fact that they peaced the hell outta there. Which apparently you do, if you're born in Ohio. No? You're staying for Cleveland Indian games? You poor soul. 

26. New Mexico

They feel like they need to show their state. Perhaps to reassure people that it's not old Mexico? Talk about disenchanted. 

25. Arkansas

We're beginning to feel that this diamond is controlling the state. It needs to stop; it's ruining this lovely wildlife scene.

24. Colorado

Unfortunately Colorado isn't rendered in color on their quarter, but Longs Peak is still pretty...we guess? Of all the peaks, they choose Longs? Have they ever been to Longmont, which this abuts? Apparently not. 

23. Virginia

This already-exciting quarter is made even more so by what appears to be a prediction of Jamestown's 2007 demise. It was wrong, and Jamestown is still flourishing, relatively.

22. North Dakota

Kansas, this is how you do bison. (Also, there are actually bison in North Dakota, so.)

21. Minnesota

The slogan and outline of the state clash immensely, but THAT LOON. The loon is everything. 

20. Connecticut

We've very thankful to Connecticut for not feeling the need to show us its shape. Instead we get a mysterious oak tree that is actually very aesthetically pleasing. Also, pretty much every quarter is Connecticut's quarter, lodged in those hedge-funds.

19. Nevada

Mostly we're thankful that the slogan wasn't "Vegas, Baby!" Also, is it just us, or do these horses look extremely naked? We love this quarter, but we'd have appreciated a more modern approach to the art, even with those sun rays. Why does everything have to be so realistic? What about commissioning some avant garde artist?

Also: Vegas, Baby! 

18. South Dakota

They could have ditched the wheat and kept the rest of the mountain, but heck, they tossed a pheasant in there. We're down with pheasants. You're not? Lose our number. 

17. Vermont

Syrup for the win (or 17th place). But couldn't they have handled the tops of those trees just a little better?

16. Washington

This is the kind of quarter that could give Michael Bay an idea. A giant salmon attacking Mount Rainier? Sounds like a blockbuster.

15. Missouri

Lewis and Clark, the Arch, sure. And we love the use of perspective and that mighty river. We're told that if you look at the quarter under a microscope you can see band-aids on their faces, Nelly-style.

14. Iowa

A schoolhouse, people planting a tree, the American Gothic artist—these things are fine. What ties it all together is the fact that Iowa's quarter uses the whole canvas. NO WASTED METAL. 

13. Alabama

Boring at first glance, but several glances later you notice that this quarter works in the dark, thanks to the Braille on there. Unique and blind friendly.

12. Alaska

Grizzly bears and salmon. The old cliché. Hey, it's a cliché for a reason. It works. 

11. North Carolina

Flying. Amazing in 1903, amazing today. This should be celebrated forever.

10. Tennessee

All in on the music, Tennessee! Get down!

9. Oregon

A delightful scene, even if nothing much is going on. And we're told Portland is in Oregon and it's very hip. 

8. Arizona

Even without the incredible palate of colors, Arizona looks spectacular, and gorgeous, due to that Grand ol' Canyon. Also, cactus. 

7. Maine

Instead of going for lobster symbols, Maine plays it straight with a beautiful coastal scene. Love you, Maine. 

6. Utah

Killing it with two trains coming together at the completion of the Transcontinental Railroad, Utah's quarter does it right. However, this Golden Spike is not gold. It's 90 percent copper and 10 percent nickel. Because that's what a quarter is.

5. Rhode Island

A sailor! Good man. This quarter does not decrease the likelihood of people thinking Rhode Island is actually an island, but it's pretty sweet.

4. Nebraska

Historical, vast, and sunny, this could be a 70mm Technicolor print. Hats off, Nebraska.

3. California

John Muir, Half Dome, and a condor (full disclosure: we had to look that last one up) get us psyched. Whenever a quarter can make us forget it's just an inch wide, making us lose ourselves within its design, that's a win.

2. Florida

This is among the most badass of all the quarters, and seems to have been designed by a 12-year old, which is awesome. Here we have a space shuttle taking off like a plane over a palm tree island, with a pirate ship coming towards it, probably about to be engaged in battle with the shuttle. A+, ya'll. 

1. Kentucky

This magnificent quarter has a gorgeous thoroughbred, a mansion, and a Stephen Foster song in quotes, all on top of what we'll assume is bluegrass. It also uses an interesting angle and the entire metal canvas—a role model for all future states, if we get any more. Which we shouldn't.


Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor at Supercompressor. He is from Vermont, but is not biased. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann.