OK, now for the hard stuff. Rapid fire:
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck, or a hundred duck-sized horses?
One giant duck would be so scary... those beaks. A hundred duck-sized horses you could just, like, kick away.
Would you rather be able to lift 100 pounds with your mind, or 10,000 pounds with your body?
Would you rather receive $20,000 right now, or gain the ability to summon Stone Cold Steve Austin three times in your life?
Totally Steve Austin. $20,000 isn’t worth it.
Would you accept $10,000 per year for life if it meant every time you hit your funny bone you pooped your pants?
Follow up Q: But what if you were on a date?
Who cares about the date? Now you’ve got $10,000 bucks.
Would you rather hold your horses, or cool your jets?
I am a big fan of horses, so horses.
Would you rather have a soup, or a side salad?
Big salad guy. Definitely salad.
Would you rather have hair for teeth, or teeth for hair?
I’ve got really nice hair, so hair for teeth for sure.
Would you rather have one hand that perpetually shrinks every day or speak with the same tone and intensity as Donald Duck for the rest of your life?
Does that mean every time your hand shrinks your dick does?...Don’t those things go together? Donald Duck you could get famous for... Donald Duck, definitely. Final answer.
Would you rather sweat gold or piss diamonds?
Piss diamonds is like passing a kidney stone. I'd rather sweat gold for sure.
Would you rather have your entire browser history available for people to see or fart confetti for a month?
I’ve got nothing to hide, YouJizz is probably the worst. Maybe? I'd rather have everyone see my entire browser history.
Special thanks to Chris Wellhausen for letting us use his image of Danny up top. For over a decade he has been splitting his efforts between editorial and commercial photography in the snowboarding world. In his position as Photo Editor for TransWorld SNOWboarding, Chris is responsible for some of the most legendary snowboarding imagery out there. Stay tuned to Supercompressor for a Photo Roll feature on his work!
Molly McGlew is the Social Media Editor for Supercompressor. She's a board girl fer sure, check her Twitter for proof.