If you have the grilling biceps, the signature seasoning, and the shiny BBQ grill, yet you still feel that your grilling presence is not aggressive enough, then the Machete Spatula is for you. It's guaranteed to instantly turn all wielders into lean, mean—emphasis on mean—grilling machines.
The machete-shaped spatula is designed with a wide holding surface to hold your heaviest steaks. And to help you complement those perfectly seared steaks with an ice-cold beer, the blade features a row of three bottle openers. Because, you know, double-fisting is for sissies.
Pro tip: if a backseat griller has unfortunately joined your party, speak loudly while vigorously gesturing with this in your hand.