Emoji Masks? Emoji Masks.

Honestly, who would've ever thought that people would use little tiny smiling poops as a means of communication in the 21st century? The emoji is one of the finest additions to the text message ever created and, pending you're not being passive-aggressive, is a wonderfully simple way to express yourself.

And now, well, you can wear some of your favorite emojis with the aptly-named Emoji Masks.

Choose from five of your favorites including: Sly Guy, Smile, Grin, Heart Eyes, and Poop. (I think you gotta go for the poop.) Each mask comes with two elastic straps to securely fasten your favorite ideograms to your face. 

If nothing else, they're a wonderful ice-breaker at parties and most conversations will undoubtedly go something like this: 

"Hey, are you an emoji?"
"Indeed."
"Want to sleep together?"
"Okay."

It would be a fallacy to wait until Halloween to don one of these puppies—and why the hell should you? I thought this was America.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and can't wait until they make the "100 Points" mask.