There's no question that summer is terrific, but it does pose a few palpable threats to comfort. The sweat-soaked commutes? Sleepless nights spent fanning every square inch of your body and constantly flipping your pillow? No thanks.
It doesn't have to be this way, though. This year, get wise to these 13 simple tips and tricks for remaining chill, even when the mercury's shooting through the roof.
1. Build an air conditioner out of an old bucket
That window unit can be a lifesaver, but it's also responsible for your egregiously high electric bill between May and September. To cut down on costs, fashion a five-gallon bucket into a makeshift air conditioner by attaching a few PVC sections to its edges, filling it with ice water, and pushing air from tiny fan through the top. The best part? It doesn't hog up a whole window.
2. Make aloe ice cubes Odds are you'll be plagued with at least one sunburn this summer, and it pays to be prepared. Pick up a bottle of aloe vera gel and fill an ice cube tray. Remove them as needed to cool off while mending your beet-red skin.
3. Carry a pocket shower
When you need to rid yourself of swamp ass and taking a dip or actually showering isn't an option, whip out this bad boy, fill it with water, hang it above your head, and wash up in a flash. Also, ignore the stares and screams.
4. Freeze your pillowcases and sheets So you can pass out on those particularly humid nights, stash a few pillowcases in a sealed bag in the freezer and slip them on before you hit the hay. You'll be surprised how well it works to cool you down. For an added thrill, try it with your boxers every once and a while.
5. Turn a fan into a crude A/C
For those days when you're A/C-less and a sole fan simply won't do, place a frozen water bottle or bowl of ice cubes in front of the blades. Sit back, relax, and bask in the chilled air whipping across your body.
6. Disregard social norms, use a mini-mister Keep a mini fan mister in your bag to stay fresh in the midday sun. Sure, you'll look like a total doofus, but you'll be the doofus who's literally cooler than everyone else in the general vicinity. Suck it, sun.
7. BYO Pool
Step one: find someone with a pickup truck and convince him to let you borrow it for the afternoon. Clear out the cab, line it with a comforter or thick blanket, then cover that with a tarp large enough that its edges fall over the sides. Fill it with enough water to reach three to four inches from the top, and hop in. If all that sounds like too much work, there's always this.
8. Apply antiperspirant to your hairline If excessive brow sweat is an issue, try applying an unscented antiperspirant at the top of your forehead before going to bed each night. Sure, you'll definitely be sleeping alone after your partner watches you do this, but when it's this hot out, why the hell would you want someone in bed with you anyway?
9. Chill beers in minutes
There's nothing worse than a lukewarm beer on a scorching hot day. Save yourself from such travesties by wrapping the bottle or can in a paper towel or rag, dousing it in water, and placing it in the freezer for roughly 15 minutes. The same goes for bottles of wine.
10. Close your blinds and cover leather furniture with a white sheet To prevent your place from baking in the summer sun, keep blackout curtains drawn when you're gone and cover any dark furniture that gets a lot of sun with a light-colored sheet. This makes sure the surface doesn't emanate any excess warmth into the room.
11. Freeze a sponge
Soak a fresh sponge in water, toss it in a Ziplock bag, and leave it in the freezer. When that unbearable moment of heat comes over you, take it out and rest it on your forehead or wrists. You'll cool down without getting soaked, since the sponge will absorb any residual moisture as it warms.
12. Wear wet socks to bed This one's for those unbearable nights. Place a towel at bottom of your bed and slip on a pair of socks you've soaked in cold water. Point a fan at your feet and prepare for a prolonged chill to tingle up your spine.
13. Put dryer sheets EVERYWHERE
Face it, you reek in the summer. To keep things musk-free and smelling fresh leave dryer sheets in your shoes, clip them to your fan, and stick one or two to the front of the air conditioner vents.
Joe McGauley is a moderately sweaty senior editor at Supercompressor.
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