Odds are you visit your gym for one of two reasons: keeping your gut in check, or the water at your apartment is out again and you desperately need to take a shower. Presumably, you're not stoping by to feel pampered or grab a meal.
But if you'd dropped the coin it takes to join one of these luxurious health clubs, you'd find many, many other reasons to fit in that post-work workout.
1. Bosse Sports
Cost of membership: $50,000 per year
Members are treated to plenty of non-workout related perks, from airport limo service, shoe shines and dry cleaning, to private chef access, auto detailing, and a grocery shopping service where they stock you up with tons of healthy things called "vegetables".
2. East Bank Club
Cost of membership: $180 per month, plus $500 initiation fee
The sprawling 450,000-square-foot fitness emporium not only has a salon, cafe, bar, and car detailing service, but in the summer the rooftop turns into a giant raging pool party. With two pools, a three-tier sundeck and bar & grill, squeezing in a workout takes military-like discipline.
3. E At Equinox
New York, New York
Cost of membership: $26,000 per year
With a membership that's allegedly capped at 50 people, this is the Equinox brand's crown jewel. To gain access, members must pass a goddamn retina scan. Inside, it's all about personalized service that includes private cabanas to change into your (provided) workout garb, private showers, and two sessions per week with their top trainers to adhere to a "fitness prescription" catered to your body type.
Cost of membership: $30,000 per year
Formerly known as the Athletes' Performance, this state-of-the-art facility is where some of the country's most elite professional athletes train. It's set up with several tracks, football turf, batting cages and a pitchers mound, as well as top-tier physical therapy equipment including an underwater treadmill to keep you from busting up your body too badly.
5. The Houstonian Club
Cost of membership: $300 per month, plus $24,000 initiation fee
Inside one of the city's finest hotels and oozing with old Texas charm, this 125,000-square-foot facility offers a sophisticated oak-paneled locker room (with free robes!), a cafe, nutrition services, as well as a huge variety of of workout facilities, including a boxing ring, eight tennis courts, and four heated pools.
6. The Bunker
Beverly Hills, California
Cost of membership: $200+ per hour
This gym is so exclusive, this blurred photo is the closest you'll ever come to seeing inside. Run by celebrity trainer Adam Ernster, this referral-only gym is only accessible via a nondescript corridor and reserved exclusively for one-on-one sessions. One of its other major selling points is the adjoining private paparazzi-proof parking garage, which keeps the faces of its beet-red, sweat-streaked clientele out of the tabloids.
7. La Palestra
New York, New York
Cost of membership: $8,000 per year
Beneath New York's famed Plaza Hotel, this two-story, 9,000-square-foot compound was designed by famed architect Frank Gehry and takes a medical-focused approach to keeping you in shape. Beyond the traditional workout facilities, they employ an internist, nutritionist, physical therapist and psychologist to ensure your fitness regimen is both comprehensive and well-rounded.
8. The Sporting Club at The Bellevue
Cost of membership: $174 per month, plus $550 initiation fee
This enormous gym boasts an NBA-regulation basketball court, several whirlpools, saunas & steam rooms, shoe shine service, and monthly par-tays to get loose at.
9. The Setai Club & Spa
New York, New York
Cost of membership: $5,000 per year
Besides the standard workout scene, members are treated to the Club's "Aquagrotto"— a hybrid Jacuzzi, aromatherapy steam room, and sauna experience—as well as complimentary workout gear, heated shaving cream, discounted spa services, and free breakfast at the adjoining restaurant.
10. Zenergy Health Club & Spa
Cost of membership: $135 per month, plus $15,000 initiation fee
Amenities: Amazing views aside, this fitness oasis near Sun City boasts a crop of indoor tennis courts, indoor/outdoor saltwater pools, and private poolside concerts.
Joe McGauley is a senior editor at Supercompressor, and feeling very insecure about his paltry New York Sports Club membership.