Lifestyle

10 'As Seen on TV' Products That We'd Actually Use Every Day

The "As Seen on TV" product is almost always purchased during those booze-fueled twinkling hours before sunrise. But when the sun comes up and you're met with a box full of specialty iPhone-charging, solar-powered grills, the decision has to be made of whether or not your new toy is actually useful or completely superfluous.

While "As Seen on TV" is usually a synonym for "Buyer's remorse," there are some exceptions, including these 10 infomercial-born products that are good enough to be deemed "too awesome to be sh*tty."

1. Ronco Showtime Standard Rotisserie

Price: $139.95
Honestly, there are harder meals out there to cook than chicken, but there are also far easier ones. The Showtime Stand Rotisserie cooks two birds at once and can even nuke a 15-pound turkey in three minutes and does so without the use of an oven. That makes for a nice, clean, burn-free night. 

2. No Spill Chill

Price: $10 
It's not often that we, as a species, can relate to the problems depicted in the dramatic reenactments during informercials, but—and god damn it—it is physically impossible to make ice without spilling water. The No Spill Chill is genius because it's 100% spill proof and easily dispenses ice into your cup in one simple motion. 

3. George Foreman Grill

Price: $29.99
I don't even think George Foreman knows that he will forever be remembered for his contribution as a spokesman for a grill over his tremendous boxing history. The George Foreman Grill has become such a staple in our lives, selling over 100 million units, that we've forgotten its humble beginnings on late-night TV. You can cook anything on this beast—except for soup, I guess. 

4. Magic Tap

Price: $9.95
If these ads portrayed their products as honestly as possible, we'd see a group of stressed out grad students sticking the Magic Tap onto the cheapest handle of vodka at the store and going to town. No more spilled drinks, but most likely plenty of spilled emotions. 
 

5. WineYoke

Price: $6.99
I mean, this is it. A way to have your cake, eat it too, and get intoxicated from said cake. The Wine Yoke holds your wine glass in place so the drinker can eat, high-five, point, and gesticulate until their fingers bleed. Are you going to look like a total Melvin wearing a laniard of wine? Of course, but think of the practical aspects, people! 

6. Quit It!

Price: $10.99 
Is it black magic or are dogs just afraid of loud noises? Neither one, but kind of both. Quit It! simply emits a sound that is extremely annoying to pets—and conveniently similar to the hiss of a snake—that scares the sh*t out of them and saves your shoes from destruction. All without having to raise a hand to your pup! That is voodoo! 

7. Zoomies

Price: $7.84
Zoomies are on this list for a reason—they're practical in design, convenient to wear, and answer the age-old question of: "how am I going bird-watch and eat my burrito with two hands at the same time?" With its vaguely steampunk style and 300% magnification rate, you can finally look as creepy as you feel while peering across the street into your neighbor's window. 

8. Sauna Pants

Price: $39.95
Some hotshot, bigwig, flash exec decided to market Sauna Pants as a weight-loss accessory, but you would be a damn fool to use these puppies as anything but a luxury item. It's winter, 10 degrees Kelvin outside and you're sitting on your couch with the warmest set of testicles ever recorded on this beautiful planet. Good god...Milhouse's mom had it right all along

9. Easy Eggwich 

Price: $9.57
As no strangers to the magic of eggs, it's a pretty thrilling feeling to find an "As Seen on TV" product that can legitimately make a breakfast sandwich that will blow your brain apart. You simply crack the egg into the cooker, cover it up, stick it in the microwave, and reap the benefits in one minute flat. That's how you scramble eggs without getting yolk on your face, dog. 

10. The PajamaJeans® Jacket For Men

Price: $49.99
PajamaJeans have been around forever and they're a straightforward concept: jeans that feel like pajamas. Yawn city, USA. But, hey, a pajamajean jacket? That's the money-shot, people. 95% cotton with included seams, buttons, and pockets to make you feel like you're a real person? That's a wolf in an extremely comfortable sheep's clothing. 


Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and spends all of his money at once.