Dress as loud as the Norwegian Curling Team
It doesn't bode well for a sport when one team's attire gets all the attention. Designed to peacock as much as possible, the Norwegian Curling Team Pant (below) guarantees that eyes won't be on the curling stone. Also available to us civilians in argyle, these are perfect for the rink, the links, or making sure you don't get accidentally run over by a car.
These pants are nuts enough that you just might forget how ludicrous ice-shuffleboard is. A+ misdirection, Norway.