Bacon (De)odorant

Smelling like a pig is no longer an insult, thanks to Power Bacon Deodorant. Loaded with the aromas of the finest smoked meats, this "odorant" is the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. Yes, more than that Ferrari, slick.

However, it is also the world's most powerful repellent, if you're near vegetarians. Considering the intense magnetism of this product, please be smart and refrain from using it while hiking or at the zoo.

Ethan Wolff-Mann is the Gear editor for Supercompressor. He almost lost a friend after buying turkey bacon once and learned his lesson. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann.