Rocketskates! Hell Yes!

In a bold move that makes every scene from Xanadu look like a heaping pile of vomit-flavored crap, a company called Acton is making Rocketskates that'll take you from point A to point Fast and Furious with the power of technology. While the name conjures up images of ACME-esque inventions for the likes of Wile E. Coyote, the California-based company has actually put some brains into their skates and can pretty much guarantee the capture of any fast-running ground cuckoo. 

Powered by a lithium-ion battery pack, the skates work in unison as they—for lack of a better word—communicate with each other to maintain a constant speed and behavior.

The Rocketskates are almost reminiscent of the infamous Segway scooters in the sense that they work with your body to move. Simply tilt your feet forward to accelerate and tilt back to stop. Just stay away from cliffs. Too soon? 

An accompanying app gives you insight to route tracking, skate diagnostics, battery status, and social interactivity. Overall, seriously easy to use. Just put them over your shoes and roll out. 

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and is legitimately—and comically—talented at Rollerskating. For more information on skating and its benefits, please watch Xanadu now.