Ahh, Super Bowl Sunday: that holiest of holidays when the entire country will simultaneously shut down Seamless with mass orders of wings and pizza. And beer. Glorious, ice cold beer. To keep the most American of all beverages as cold as Belichick's icy gaze, here are seven coolers perfect for your game-day party needs.
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Yeti Tank 85 - $249.99
It's the biggest football day of the year, so shouldn't your cooler follow suit? This 20-gallon ice bucket of epic proportions can hold up to 96 beers, which should probably get you through the first quarter.
Reclaimed Tequila Barrel Ice Chest and Stand - $595.00
But if your déclassé shindig needs a little sprucing up, look no further than this ice chest built from a reclaimed, wooden tequila barrel. Because mixing beer and tequila ends well for everyone, always.
The Coolest - $165
A combo blender, speaker, phone charger, and cooler, this thing doesn't make the party, it is the party. With LED lights and a built-in bottle opener, it tops the wish list of die-hard frat bros from Seattle to Boston.
IceMule Cooler - $59.95
And if it's your job to schlep all the brews from home to whatever friend has a better TV, you'll want the IceMule. You know, like a drug mule, but with booze instead. Its soft outer shell and comfortable strap make it the lightest, leak-proof cooler available, thanks to the PolarLayer insulation.
Pelican 80 Qt Elite Cooler - Price available upon request
The cream of the depleted cooler crop, this offering from Pelican boasts ice retention for 10 days straight without leaks. The handle and wheels make it easily portable, while the sloped drain makes emptying it a breeze.
IcyBreeze - $279.00
If you're lucky enough to be tailgating in Phoenix, or watching the game anywhere warm, really, this cooler that transforms into an air conditioner is your new best friend. It'll keep pumping chilly air for up to seven hours, keeping you and your libations icier than Boston in February.
The Backpack Cooler Chair - $99.95
Should you need extra seating for your Super Bowl bash (and you will), why not make those chairs work overtime? Each seat folds up for easy transportation, and can store up to 24 12-ounce cans in the attachable arm rest coolers, meaning a cold one will never be out of reach.
Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. She was born and raised in Boston and thinks the only thing the Pats deflated was the Bills. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.