The Richie Rich Ping Pong Table

Sure to excite legions of friendless ping pong enthusiasts, Killerspin's new Throw II Robot is a standard table tennis setup with a built-in pitching machine on one side, simulating the rapid-fire action of playing against a properly-skilled opponent without having to go on Craigslist's personal section. 

Whether you're just starting out or you can volley Forrest Gump-style, the machine's equipped to accommodate any skill level thanks to a spectrum of variables that can be tweaked on command via remote control. You can have it shooting up to 100 balls per minute, put varying degrees of topspin or underspin on them, and have it drop them short or long. And since it collects and recycles everything you hit back into play, you can be forever alone... forever!

Joe McGauley is a senior editor at Supercompressor, and hopes no sad soul is playing beer pong against this thing.