The 17 Most Outrageous Things for Sale On Hammacher Schlemmer

Every so often, Hammacher Schlemmer peppers their cool, attainable stuff with some items that would require a second mortgage. Or things that a nine-year-old would dream up. This is why we love them.

1. The Transparent Canoe - $2,500
Not ridiculously priced. A little crazy, though. You have our attention Mr. Schlemmer. Go on.

2. The Two Person 60 MPH Hovercraft - $19,500
Whoa. They nail us in three ways here. Hovercraft. Yes, done. Sixty miles an hour, oh boy. But then you notice that they casually tossed in "two-person." Datemobile. We just hope it has a horn.

3. Authentic New York Hot Dog Vendor Cart - $5,500
It's only authentic if you steal it off Broadway, but we get the idea. 

4. The Personal Submarine - $2,000,000
Oh, a two million dollar personal submarine? Yes, we'll have that. It can go down to 1,000 feet and can go three knots per hour. It is "fully classified and certified as a +A1 passenger-carrying manned submersible by the American Bureau of Shipping." Also, it includes "comprehensive" training, which we imagine is optional.

5. The Flying Hovercraft - $190,000
For just a little more than the two-person hovercraft—well, 10 times more—comes one that flies. Worth it. It, too, is a two-seater.

6. Human Powered Car - $60,000
You'd think that a human-powered car would be cheaper than a non-human powered car, but this is not the case here because it stores electricity on downhills, making it a hybrid of electric and human power. It can drive 60 mph.

7. Swimmer's Treadmill - $1,500
It's pretty much the price of a regular treadmill, but you can swim in it. Though unlike the super fancy ones that make a current, this one has a harness. Hmmm.

8. A Genuine Patrol Torpedo Boat - $1,000,000
For just a million large, you can get one of the only remaining PT boats still around from WWII. It still has the .50-millimeter Browning machine gun among other arms, but they are "deactivated." For now, matey.

9. The First Flying Bicycle - $45,000
Remember in The World is Not Enough, when 007 skied away from those snowmobiles with big fans attached to them? Well this now exists in bike-form. Using pedal power and a big motor, this flying bike works on land or in the air. It also can fit in the trunk of a car.

10. Hot Tub Boat - $42,000
How many times have you been in a hot tub and wished it could float like a boat? Have you sat in a boat and wished it had a hot tub? Of course you have. And now you can do both. At the same time.

11. The Robotic Bartender - $25,000
Yep, an actual robotic bartender who will make your drinks automatically to the proportions you choose. Holding 16 different bottles that you can easily swap out—update the inventory, please—it will make you any of the 600 drinks in its database, or a new one you create yourself.

12. The Solar Velomobile - $9,900
We've seen plenty of solar cars. This one, however, has a set of pedals so you can help out the motor and get it up to 30 mph—it can only do 20 on its own. Since it's legally classified as a bicycle, you don't even need a license.

13. The Self-Contained Hootenanny - $54,000
Fitting 17 instruments inside an armoire, this one-man-band for your living room can store up to 13,000 MIDI or MP3 tracks and play them using impressive mechanical precision. There is also a built-in bass synth so you can get that low end.

14. The Olympic Ceremony Monowheel - $7,000
Besides the diaper thing, you might remember this monowheel from the 2008 Beijing Olympics. It is very weird.

15. The Climbing Wall Treadmill - $7,000
The guys at Hammacher really love these bizarre treadmills. Motorless and powered by the climber's weight, this thing is super cool, but must get absurdly repetitive.

16. Aquatic Thrust Boots - $31,500
Made for "combat swimmer" applications, this military grade diver propulsion system is only available for civilian use through Hammacher Schlemmer. Its brushless electronic motors are nearly silent, so it's good for fishing with your hands.

17. The Killer Whale Submarine - $90,000
A steal at just under $100k, you can cruise at 25 mph and hydroplane at 50 mph, or lurk up to five feet under the sea. This would be cool even if it weren't shaped like an orca.

Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor at Supercompressor. He would like a submarine. NOW. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann.