Allison Perkins Organizational Design

Give your girl the gift of not being a total mess by hiring this Association Of Professional Organizers-approved former personal assistant to help her part ways with the crap in her closet/kitchen/bathroom and put what's left together in a way that makes sense; to make the whole process easier, Perkins'll even show up with bubbly in tow, which is probably what you should've done when you called her a "total mess".