Gaucho Ranch

Internet shopping provides infinite purchasing reach, but it's terrifying not knowing if those $500 shoes will actually fit right, or if that manatee plushie is really as boneable as it looks on the website. Take uncertainty out of your e-beef, with Gaucho Ranch's new warehouse shop.

After peddling the coveted beef from Uruguay's famed Las Pampas grasslands on the 'netz for three years, world-renowned GR just began distributing the stuff to restos via their new Miami loft/warehouse, and more importantly, will let any man off the street walk in with cash and walk out with cow. Down in Uruguay, GR's Hereford cattle live an idyllic free-range, grass-fed life, resulting in leaner meat, lower cholesterol, higher omega-3 fatty acids, and robust flavor; following the final gaucho round-up, the all hormone-/antibiotic-free beef's butchered, then vacuum-packed (and never, ever frozen) and wet-aged in its own juices while being shipped to the Estados Unidos, where we recommend hormones and antibiotics for aging, and juices. Stop by the warehouse to grab classic steaks like ribeyes, skirts, and NY strips (all 12 to 14oz), or snag some of their whole cuts, like striploin (the 2 1/2-foot slab from which NYs are cut), ribeye weighing in at up to four pounds (which take about an hour to grill), flap meat (a South American grill fave), and whole tenderloins you can cut into filets of desired thickness, but unfortunately, not your desired Thickeness of "Alan".

GR also sells instructional DVDs on how to cook gaucho-style, and offers appointment-only Friday night cookouts with Uruguayan master griller Don Julio; they also have a BBQ catering service where Don'll show up with his grill, meat, and skill -- although when your manatee runs off with him, you'll wish you just stuck with their website.