Sentiments from "congratulations" to "I appreciate your existence" can be conveyed through the simple gesture of buying someone a drink -- unfortunately, doing that requires the more involved gestures of showing up at a bar, and talking. Be lazily thoughtful, with

NY-based Real lets you purchase drinks for friends in absentia by blessing their credit/debit accounts with funds, making their gift redeemable anywhere that takes plastic. Simply choose the worth of your friend's happiness (as long as it's less than $100) and enter his/your email, then suggest a drink type (beer, cocktail, non-alcoholic poon juice) and compose a heartfelt note testifying to the undying strength of your bond ("Dear Ted, you really deserve this non-alcoholic poon juice"). Next, enter your credit/debit deets and Real will send an email informing your friend of your largesse; after signing into Real and dropping his credit/debit info, his account will be credited with the allotted amount the next time he swipes his card at a bar or restaurant, provided it's within the next 12 months -- if he hasn't had a drink by then, he's probably dead.

Regardless of how much you spend, Real charges a one-time convenience fee of 90 cents -- a small price to pay for not having to spend time with the people you love.