The art of the wheel

What you get around with says a lot about you: motorcyclists're generally looking for the next big thrill, and dudes who drive Hummers are generally looking for...their first hummer. Get a ride that says "Yes I have a bike, and it's cooler than anything you own", from Sexy Bicycles.

A posse of Down Under cycle freaks, Sexy's dropping a debut web-only collection of high-design, screamingly colored limited edition cycles, from slick touring rigs, to pimped-out racers, to stripped-down city bikes, who never seem to show those country bikes a good enough time to change their minds about things. Damn cat. Two-wheel whips come in five different sizes to fit any height, and include three models each of fixed gears, single speeds, and 9-speed roadsters, all lovingly handmade with SB's custom parts (plus those from "high quality manufacturers") in stamped 'n' numbered runs between nine and 27 depending on the type, except for Type O, which they'll give to everyone. Choice picks include the single speed chrome frame/green wheel'd Release with puncture-resistant tires and leather grips; the 9-speed Alchemy with lime green frame/spokes, curved swing-back handlebars for superior control, and multi-function pedals (for flat, toe clip/strap, or clip-in cleat riding); and a blue-framed, chrome-accented fixie with forward-jutting "bull-horn-style" handlebars for fast riding named Blue Business (in which Tom Cruise doesn't have sex with Rebecca De Mornay).

Furthering the Sexy steez are a half-dozen colorful t-shirts with their font/logo plus a custom tool kit -- as anyone who doesn't drive a Hummer can tell you, don't forget to cup the ball-bearings.