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Steins of Science

Applied science has given the world everything from electricity to the Polio vaccine, but how are you supposed to enjoy sitting around under your strobe light with no Polio if your beer is getting warm? Applying science where it really matters, Steins of Science.

The side-venture of UC Berkeley's resident "health physicist" -- a man who's successfully dismantled a nuclear weapon (yawn) -- SoS're big, shimmery mugs fashioned from top of the line lab-ready flasks, which ensure your last sip of beer'll be as frosty your first by bending the laws of thermodynamics, facilitating your breaking the laws of public urination. These bad boys're made of two layers of silvered glass, which between themselves hold a vacuum that's 100,000 times more powerful than that of your average thermos; what this means is that their construction eliminates all possibility of conduction, convection, and radiation (except for a negligible amount upwards) between your brew and the ambient world around it, i.e., the air/your sweaty palm. Vessels vary in style and size from the somewhat petite/aluminum-wrapped 11.8 oz (the creator's choice for "chilled cocktail administration"), to the tall n' skinny 22.5 oz (wrapped with sweet looking blue grating for protection...from you), to the massive gallon tankard -- the mad physicist recommends you use its handle as a backstrap for your hand and lift with your arm, because your wrist may not be able to support its weight, though he can't possibly fathom what your wrist is capable of.

Because Steins of Science keep their contents so cold, they lend themselves to a very curious phenomenon: because you won't be rushing to kill your beer before it gets warm, you'll actually drink slower, which, at this point, is pretty much the only thing you have to sit around and Salk about.