Uvex Electronic Optic Ski Goggles

On the slopes, spectacular yard-sale wipeouts are likely, but add blindness to the equation and a spleen-splattered calamity becomes a certainty. Keep your sight (and your dignity) with Uvex's Electronic Optic Ski Goggles, just released for this season.The first and only tint-adjustable eyewear on the market, EOSGs essentially act like Venetian blinds for your peepers -- a technology developed by the Air Force after pilots wearing Top Gun-era Raybans kept crashing into the towers they were attempting to buzz. At rest, a layer of liquid crystals sit perpendicular to the lens, allowing even dim, tree-shaded light to pass through with a soft tint. At the touch of a button a current passes through this layer, instantaneously realigning the crystals to block out glaring sunshine AND as a bonus reveal doppelganger aliens to Rowdy Roddy Piper. The ESOGs are powered by a standard 6-volt camera battery, good for 200hrs of use -- so you won't have to stuff your pocket with D-cells, which'll fall out on the lift and kill snowboarding children. Their only downside is that you'll become addicted to wearing them at all times, and there's still no lens that can filter out getting punched in the face for wearing ski goggles in a bar.