Cholesterol isn't bad, but don't eat cholesterol
This is a fun one. After acknowledging that dietary cholesterol doesn't raise blood cholesterol levels, the guidelines still say you should probably limit dietary cholesterol. Uhhhhhh... guess this is another one of those "we really mean 'don't eat hot dogs,' but can't say it because of Big Wiener interests" situations.
Shift to healthier food and beverage choices? YOU DON'T SAY!
Why is this point number four in the second section of chapter two?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL US HOW TO DO THIS. Tautological arguments are fun and all, but how did this get included?
"What should we tell the people about eating healthier?"
"Eh, I don't know, maybe tell them to make healthier food and beverage choices?"
"Great, it's in the report!"
So why don't they just say what they mean?
Why are the 2015 Dietary Guidelines so full of vagaries, euphemisms, and information you could infer through common sense? Politics! Which itself is a euphemism for money.
Consider who's making the recommendations: it's a jointly issued report from the Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Agriculture. Yeah, AGRICULTURE. The same USDA that subsidizes things like the beef, pork, and lamb industries. And if there's one thing the United States of America hates, it's criticizing business, or restricting the free flow of money.
That's why the dietary guidelines will never say things like, "don't eat so much fast food; eat less meat; eat fewer candy bars and other packaged, processed goods; don't drink soda." That's probably what you should do -- but you also probably knew that already.
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Anthony Schneck is the health editor at Thrillist and eats plenty of vegetables, MOM, stop! Follow him: @AnthonySchneck.