3. Super Dragon 6000
Oh, there we go! 6000, the number of times you should be prepared to ejaculate naturally when taking Super Dragon 6000, an all-natural way to heighten your body's innate, unstoppable carnal desires.
2. Wild Sexx
YES. This is what we're looking for. To the point, with an extra X -- but they showed some restraint in not going for the obvious third X. For the professional who likes to mix business with naturally augmented pleasure on his trips to Thailand, and appreciates directness in all his affairs.
1. S.W.A.G.G.E.R. Extreme
Wow. Yes. I am in need of an intense, all-natural boost to my body's high-octane (maybe that term does work?) lechery. What an an acronym... what could it possibly mean? Sex While Always Getting Good Erections Really? Sweat While A Groomsman Gives Energetic Ripostes? See What Angers Girls Gone Extremely Rigid? Yikes. The tagline on S.W.A.G.G.E.R. Extreme boxes is "SEX WITH A GUN™" which, um, OK, love the enthusiasm, but why do we need a gun? Is this implying sex while holding a gun? Sex with an actual gun? Probably very, very, VERY illegal (and wrong) regardless, so please don't do that. At least it explains the first four letters of the acronym.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Anthony Schneck is the health editor at Thrillist, and needs to call the FDA. Follow him @AnthonySchneck.