The Perfect Morning-After Meal for Every Type of Hangover

So you overdid it last night, and now you have a raging hangover. It happens. You probably have a favorite remedy, whether it's pinching a few Midol from your girlfriend's stash or chasing last night's binge with a bit of the hair of the dog.

But not every hangover is created equal, which is why we've put together this handy guide of foods to cure whatever kind of hangover is causing your suffering.

When you wake up feeling like a tiny drumline made up of tiny musicians in tiny spangled outfits has taken up residence inside your head, get thee to the nearest deli for a bagel with lox. The B vitamins found in fatty fishes like salmon may alleviate any deficiency (especially of thiamine) related to drinking. More of a tuna salad kind of guy? Go for it, as tuna -- along with sardines, mackerel, and herring -- is another good-for-you fatty fish.

While you're at it, pick up a small coffee and a green juice. A small amount of caffeine will help to ease the throbbing in your head, and the green juice will give you a dose of pain-relieving minerals like magnesium, and offer some much-needed hydration along the way.

Speaking of staying hydrated, if you wake up feeling as dried out as your grandmother's favorite leather handbag, reach for water, yes, but also consider foods that have a high water content.

Fruits like watermelon, grapefruit, or strawberries, and veggies like celery, radishes, or cucumbers, are great choices to get you extra hydrated while enjoying brunch; consider opting for a vegetable omelet with a side of fruit salad. Just remember that the celery stalk in that Bloody Mary won't really count -- the alcohol and salt content in those most-delicious morning cocktails will undo all the good a watery vegetable can offer.

First things first: if you wake up feeling nauseous after a night of heavy foods and even heavier drinking, get something into your belly. It's natural, when you're feeling queasy, to want to avoid food completely, but do your best to get a little something in your stomach before the combination of low blood sugar and an upset stomach does a horrible number on your system.

The name of the game when you're looking green around the gills is to go for something bland. Scrambled eggs and toast with a side of breakfast potatoes sound good? Of course it does. That's the choice to make when your belly is going flip flop; just eat slowly, stop when you're feeling full, and be careful that those taters aren't overly greasy, as oils and fats can lead to further gastric distress.

Ginger in almost any form will help settle a roiling stomach -- reach for ginger ale, ginger tea, ginger candy, or even treat yourself to a nibble of a gingersnap cookie.

When you vomit, not only do you become dehydrated and have a nasty mess to clean up, but you also lose nutrients like potassium and magnesium. Bland and easily digestible foods that can help to replenish those lost nutrients, like wheat toast, oatmeal, and avocado, will help to reset your body after a night of praying to the porcelain gods.

You should also keep this handy acronym in mind when recovering from an upset stomach: BRAT, which stands for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast. The BRAT diet is a helpful shorthand for when you're feeling too awful to even remember what foods to eat to help you feel less awful, though bananas and rice are likely the two that will provide the most relief. The only problem is that it may feel like a judgment on your behavior, depending on how horribly you behaved in pursuit of that epic hangover you're now suffering from.

Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert who spends a lot of time thinking about puke. Follow her: @joliekerr.