Pooping to lose weight is actually a really bad idea
Of course, there are those out there who see "poop can weigh a pound" and will try to up their poop game by taking laxatives. Bad idea. Robert Herbst, an 18-time world-champion powerlifter and one of the drug-testing supervisors at the Rio Olympics, says laxative-driven weight loss happens even at the highest levels of sport, and it isn't pretty.
Herbst confirms that dropping a deuce will in fact budge the number on the scale, though it won't alter your body composition or muscle percentage, saying, "One pound in does not guarantee one [pound] out," because food is metabolized differently. Certain foods are absorbed more efficiently, while others pass right through (looking at you, corn).
So while a pound of lettuce may work its way out to the porcelain water slide, a pound of pie will most likely stick to your thighs. Pooping isn't a total elimination of all the calories you eat, since that wouldn't make any sense. Your body needs energy, so it's not going to shit it all out.
On top of that, Herbst's experience monitoring weigh-ins taught him that no one's going to see Biggest Loser-type results. He says you may see a 5lb drop (if that), depending on how much you currently weigh. If you're a big dude, you're going to expel more in weight and volume because you're already eating more.
The majority of people will only be able to look forward to a mere 1-2lb difference (at most) if you're an active person. Those losses aren’t worth canceling your gym membership, and in extreme cases, excessive laxative use can lead to all sorts of nasty medical complications.
So does this mean pooping all the time won't help me lose weight?
Sadly, that's exactly what it means. Laxatives, pooping, and farting won't help you lose enough weight to show off a sexy before-and-after picture transformation on Instagram.
Sure, you'll notice less bloating and a few pounds missing from the scale, but these losses probably won't stick around any longer than the corn you just ate.
There's no lazy way around losing weight; focus on eating a balanced diet and get your ass exercising a few times a week. Boring advice is sometimes the best advice, though no one's stopping you from claiming your disgusting gas is your favored strategy for losing weight.
Though Herbst acknowledges that laxatives will definitely help you clean out what's in your digestive tract, they're not a solid long-term option. In short, don't use laxatives to lose weight.