Afternoon at work
3:03pm: That Reuben was so necessary. My word. Not a big deal in the long run, especially since Paige is taking me to her SoulCycle class later. Hardbody 2k15 marches onward!
3:17pm: Speaking of Paige, probably almost time for a juice, right?
3:49pm: Man, juice bars are trendy. I feel like everyone here is better looking than me. Why is that dude wearing leggings? Should The New Me start wearing leggings? God, imagine Todd in leggings. What a fucking lardo. I don't get how they can make juice out of vegetables. Hmm... kale/cucumber/cardamom with a wheatgrass chaser? This tastes wild! Down the hatch, y'all. Daddy's getting serious about getting svelte.
4:04pm: Feel sort of out of it. Is my face flushed? I guess this is what the cashier at the juice bar meant when he said it would really clean me out. Good -- don't need any of that toxic shit!
4:19pm: The New Me has made a horrible mistake. Burps are tasting like melted grass. Vision blurry. Am I shaking?
4:21pm: Juice was a bad choice.
4:32pm: I guess you gotta sort of ease into this cold-pressed life. Shit is for real. I bet Todd couldn't even handle one sip. Ha! What time is SoulCycle? I wonder if Paige would mind if I bail. I already ran like nine miles this morning.
5:01pm: Gonna bail. SoulCycle sorta sounds like a cult anyway. Plus Todd says the sales team is going to happy hour. Open-bar happy hour. Maybe Todd isn't the fucking worst, after all.