Does that mean procrasturbation actually helps you get stuff done?
In a word: YES! Masturbation can help you concentrate, though not necessarily because of increased blood flow to the head. Orgasm releases endorphins -- the “feel-good chemical” that relieves pain and discomfort -- and oxytocin, Asandra says. “Oxytocin can decrease anxiety and help you relax more,” Asandra says. “If the brain’s in a more relaxed state physiologically, you’ll be able to concentrate better and focus on whatever task is at hand.”
Sweet! How often should I masturbate for optimum concentration powers?
According to Asandra, one or two self-pleasuring sessions a day are plenty. If you masturbate much more than that, you risk depleting neurohormones and the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which plays a role in the nervous system. “You can burn out neurohormones if you masturbate too much, which causes stress levels to increase in the brain,” Asandra warns. “Then [your adrenal glands] release adrenaline, and that causes more stress.”
So yes, you can get addicted to masturbation, just as you can with almost any ridiculously pleasurable experience. Asandra says it takes “prolonged years of excessive (more than three or four times a day) masturbation” to drain your brain of acetylcholin, which should come as good news to high-school students and camgirls everywhere.
All right. I’m going to procrasturbate!
Great! But before you do, keep in mind that procrasturbation is a bit of a double-edged sword. If you’re totally overwhelmed by a looming deadline, sure, masturbation might help you relax and step down from the ledge. But don’t get too relaxed, Weiss warns.
“Once you’re relaxed, you make better decisions, but if you’re too relaxed, you won’t want to [act on] those decisions,” says Weiss, who advocates getting physically active as a way to boost energy levels. “A body in motion tends to stay in motion. The more you stay on the couch, the more you’ll find things to do on the couch... like masturbate.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Missy Wilkinson thinks the obvious thing to say here is that she procrasturbated before writing this article, but that would be a lie (she actually ate Indian food). Follow her for more prurient health news: @missy_wilkinson.