Perhaps you've read about the heavy-handed irony that spread around the Internet like a listeria outbreak yesterday: West Virginia lawmakers are pretty sick, possibly from the raw milk they drank as a toast to a new bill permitting consumption of raw milk. Idiots! Backwards, backroad bumpkins who have received the scientific equivalent of divine justice, right?
Anyone who argues passionately against raw milk in favor of pasteurized milk badly misses the heart of the matter; milk is an evil substance that has no business being consumed by anyone other than baby cows.
Raw milk is milk that hasn't been heated to kill bacteria
It's impossible to refute the fact that pasteurized milk is much less likely to get you sick, though it's nice of West Virginians to take a stand against the tyranny of French public health innovation. What's more, raw milk probably isn't better for you in any measurable way. OK. Got that out of the way.
Milk isn't good for you
"Wait a second," you interrupt confidently. "Don't tell me not to drink milk! Milk is necessary, especially if I want to grow up big and strong like Pop-Pop!"